Warning: If you are not familiar with the television show The Office, this will make very little sense. Not that other posts actually make sense. Just that this might make less sense than most. You’ve been warned.
So, I mentioned that we were planning on getting chickens, and a coop was in the works. We have also been doing a fair amount of chicken-related research.
As you can tell we’ve remained extremely selective with our search for knowledge. In all honesty though, Backyard Chickens.com is a great resource if you’re thinking about it.
Chicken research has included a variety of topics including egg production, whether to get a rooster (no), whether you should feed them (yes), and what you should do when they stop laying (kill them). Heartless, no?
Well, I’m a firm believer in the fact that you should know where your food comes from, and those white lumps in the freezer section were once also cackling chickens, and most likely had nowhere near the happy life that our chickens will have. Plus, chickens aren’t the cutest animals anyway, so I figure that will make it easier on us when it’s time to “cull” them (the nice word that legitimate chicken farmers use to disguise the fact that they plan to behead poor Bertha). And yes, I do plan on names like Bertha, Henrietta, Margaret, Alice, etc. They just sound like hen names.
Our research in this area has led to discussions with other past chicken farmers regarding proper culling techniques. A surprising variety of methods exist, ranging from bloodless to extremely bloody, and one can employ a number of aids in the killing process. Many use killing cones (if you click on that link, just be grateful I didn’t choose a picture of it in action), which are similar to traffic cones attached to a wall to hold a chicken in place, socks over its head to blind and therefore calm the chicken (yes, chickens aren’t the brightest), the broomstick method and many others.
Since our recent interest in chickens developed, we have taken to discussing our latest discoveries with others who may not happen to be as interested in the topic of how to cull a chicken as we are. Has this bothered us? Not at all.
Then I watched this episode of The Office last night.
Oh no. We’re Dwight. The two of us. Oh no. We ARE Dwight Schrute. Beets will likely be next on the list.
They say married people grow too much alike and then don’t share their interests well with other people. But who knew it could happen so fast?
Excuse me while I find myself a mustard shirt.