Barefoot & Married

Not "Barefoot & Pregnant" yet – not as far as I know, at least!

Pinch Socks June 19, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — barefootnmarried @ 2:21 pm

The other day I finally decided that our closet needed a good cleaning out. Some things needed to be donated to Goodwill, and there were a few boxes that had been in there since we were married, and needed sorting and organizing.

I pulled everything out of the closet, made a couple bags for Goodwill, and happy with my success, moved onto to the two boxes. They were Mr. Barefoot’s, and taped closed. I had never bothered to investigate, and as I dragged them out into the living room to sort through them, I asked him what could be in them.

“I have no idea”, he responded.

I opened the first box to find it chock-full of socks. This is a full-size filing box, filled to the top, with socks.

Mrs. Barefoot: “Seriously? No one needs that many socks.”

Mr. Barefoot: “They’re my pinch-socks”

Mrs. Barefoot: “Pinch-socks?”

Mr. Barefoot: “When I’m in a pinch, like out of my other socks, that I like better, I have back-ups.”

Mrs. Barefoot: “You need an entire box of back-ups?”

Mr. Barefoot: “Well, you never know.”

Mrs. Barefoot: “You never know? As in, if there is suddenly a disaster that completely takes out all of the water and power in California and leaves us stranded and destitute and completely unable to wash socks, then you will have your back-up pinch socks, and all will be right with the world?”

Mr. Barefoot: “Yes.”

Mrs. Barefoot: “Oh, ok, I get it.”

Mr. Barefoot: “Really?”

Mrs. Barefoot: “No.”

So, guess what the second box was full of?

Shockingly enough, it was socks. Plain, white, old socks. Nothing special. Just socks.

But he had them in a pinch.

And now, so does Goodwill.


Salt and Pepper June 17, 2010

Filed under: Conversations — barefootnmarried @ 1:26 pm

Mr. Barefoot: “I had the weirdest dream last night. We were at the store together, and you said we were out of salt and pepper, so you went to get more salt and pepper grinders, and I told you to just get the refills, but you wouldn’t listen to me!”

Mrs. Barefoot: “Me? Never!”

Mr. Barefoot: “So you insisted on buying more grinders when all we needed were refills!”

Mrs. Barefoot: “So you dream about my homemaking failures?”

Mr. Barefoot: “Um, yes.”

Mrs. Barefoot: “You have very mundane dreams.”


The Next Star Wars

Filed under: Future,Mr. Barefoot — barefootnmarried @ 1:25 pm

In addition to being a loving and wonderful husband, Mr. Barefoot is exceptionally talented. He has done church videos, etc since high school (a whopping 2.5 years ago), but branched out into doing extra videos for a little money on the side.

His freshman year of college, he went out on a limb, borrowed money from his parents and grandparents, and started a videography business. We had started dating at that point, and seriously, what’s better for a newly dating couple than to begin one of the most stressful life endeavors ever? start a business together?

I am still to this day incredibly impressed with the guts it took for Mr. Barefoot to do what he did. At all of 18 years old, he was willing to put in the work it took to start a production company, including everything from licensing to accounting to contracts to doing the actual work he was hired for. This included using professional camera and editing equipment, as well as meeting with plenty of people many times older than him who frequently believed he had no idea what he was doing because of his age. He had to make a website knowing nothing next to nothing about websites (iWeb was a close friend), and tried to pull some clients together.

Over the next year and a half, he started doing weddings, promo videos, and small commercials. He currently still does weddings, as well as 60-second commercials for YellowPages Online and Yelp!, and a ton of other small business types. He does all of the filming and editing on all of his own equipment, has taught himself pretty much everything he know about videography and photography, and has completely paid off the original loan to his parents and grandparents. He has won a national award for one of his commercials.

Did I also mention he’s still just 20 years old? Getting a clue why I was pretty darn attracted to the guy right away? (that and the dimples … sheesh … those dimples ;-D)

What? Excuse me? What was I saying? Dimples? Husband? Oh yes, the production company (which shall remain nameless for the sake of anonymity).

It’s still small, but growing steadily. And did I mention he’s still in school full-time?

The end goal is to do something in film/video. And whether that means becoming the next Steven Spielberg, or continuing the production company to a full-time gig, or something totally different, I sure hope he is able to use his God-given talents.

Our running joke anytime we don’t have enough money for something is that we will do it when Mr. Barefoot makes the next Star Wars. Because, you know, George Lucas is just right around the corner, and in my highly realistic view of the world, of course Mr. Barefoot can just churn out the next Star Wars-type movie and then we will be fabulously rich. So we drive by a beautiful that obviously costs millions … “Oh honey, we’ll just buy that when you make the next Star Wars!” Want to travel somewhere? “When you make the next Star Wars, sweetie!” The entire state of California? ” Oh we’ll just buy it when you make the next Star Wars, honey!”

He’s actually in school for video production right now, but he’s pretty much re-learning everything he’s taught himself already, so I think he should just pursue the business full-time, but that’s a round-and-round argument for us.

For this post, I tried to convince him to let me put up one of his videos, because me telling you that he’s great at video doesn’t really mean a whole lot, as my opinion is obviously heavily biased. However, he doesn’t really get the bloggy world. He will read techie and video blogs, but for the purpose of gaining more knowledge, not to read about someone he’s never even met.

Mr. Barefoot: “What do you mean, people will read your ramblings about our lives? And then comment on it? And you read theirs? And you’ve never even met them?”

He finds it highly suspicious that I’d want to show a video of his on such a strange site, so it’s a work in progress. I’ll try to convince him though!


Toying With My Emotions June 16, 2010

Filed under: Pictures,Water — barefootnmarried @ 11:45 pm

The weather has been taunting me lately. I’m used to Valley weather, and Bay Area weather has turned out to be a cruel cruel joke.

(Stick with me here, I know I’m talking about the weather, but I promise, I have a point)

Apparently it’s been the second rainiest May in history, but regardless, I hold it against the Bay that it has toyed with my emotions this way.

I love water. Anything to do with water, I love, and will try at least once. Growing up, this had me in the pool in January, the river in March, and splashing in the gutter during any rainfall. I had the best house with a pool, a pond, a Jacuzzi, a river running through the backyard, and a lake on the other side of the river (What? Charmed childhood you say? Yes, it was tough).

I will try pretty much anything to do with water, and while this has afforded me many positive experiences, including swim team, tubing, floating, waterskiing, jet-skiing, wakeboarding, water parks, water fights, and many more that I can’t think of at the moment, it has also resulted in some negatives. Like for instance, the time I cliff-jumped, managed to fall awkwardly on my back on the water, crack a couple ribs, and bruise myself all the way from the backs of my arms down my back, butt, thighs and calfs.

Oh yes, it was one big fat body-length bruise. And no, pictures will not be forthcoming. I do have some sense of shame.

Although, to be perfectly honest, the mishap was far less the fault of the water, and much more the fault of my klutziness and inability to turn down a dare. But that’s a topic for another therapy session.

What? Where was I? Water and Bay Area weather? I have been waiting and waiting and waiting to go to the lake this year, but the weather kept teasing me. Tuesday of a week, it would be warm, sunny and beautiful. Ecstatic, I would happily plan on a fun, warm, water-infused weekend. The weather forecast would appear to support my presumptions, and I would spend the week excited. However, around Thursday, the weather would take a turn for the worse, and by the weekend, the wet, cold, windy, stormy weather would all but eliminate the possibility of boating.

If that scenario had happened just once, I could have handled it. Twice, it would have been unfortunate, but again bearable. But no! This happened again and again on every free weekend I’ve had since March. Tragedy.

But enough of my pity party. The perfect storm (yes, pun intended) occurred this weekend, the weather aligned, and it was pure bliss!

Above: Mr. Barefoot jet-skiing

Below: Mr. Barefoot wakeboarding

And boating pictures are never complete without a couple of good crash pics:

Thanks for hanging around my pity party!

And serious props to in-laws with a boat!


The Sweats Fairy

Filed under: Embarrassing Moments,Laundry — barefootnmarried @ 7:16 am

A couple of nights ago Mr. Barefoot wanted to change into his sweats but couldn’t find them. Confident in the knowledge that he was suffering from the same affliction that affects many males, causing him selective blindness when it comes to finding, oh, anything in our whole home, I opened the drawer they should have been in. As I did, I sarcastically commented that perhaps The Sweats Fairy had stolen them.

However, they were not in the drawer. Or anywhere else I looked.

I would have kept looking, but became easily distracted and forgot about the whole thing.(Distracted? Who? Me?)

A couple days later I couldn’t find my exercise clothes (I’m going to pretend that these were just one set of many exercise clothes that I own, and that significant time had not actually lapsed between said exercising), but again didn’t really think much of it. As I commented on a recent post, while I do try to keep our home neat and clean for my husband, my actual housekeeping skills are somewhat lacking.

Throughout the week, I had the vague feeling that several clothing items were MIA, but again didn’t think much of it.

Until I did laundry today.

I carried our heaping mound of clothes (how in the world do two people have so many more dirty clothes than one?) down to the laundry room, flush with quarters, and stopped short, as just over the tip-top of the laundry load, I saw a number of familiar-looking clothes strewn across the laundry-room counter.

Extremely familiar looking clothes.

I apparently had never taken our clothes out of one of the dryers the prior week… and for the entire week they sat there for the whole complex to tsk tsk over those lazy people who can’t be bothered to take their clothes back up to their apartment. I sure would have. Also, what poor soul had to touch all of my (clean, but still, really) clothes in order to take them out of the dryer and dump them on the counter? And how many people had come through there in the last week? There are 35 apartments in our complex; had they all had the chance to judge me for my laundry sins?

Oh. And right on the top of the mound? The crowning glory? Three, count ’em, THREE brightly colored pairs of my underwear sitting gaily atop the heap flagging any attention for miles around… jauntily strewn across the pile as if to say, “Oh hey random neighbor we never talk to, how’s it going?” “Oh hi there stoners across the hall, please feel free to take a gander at my colorfulness all you want!”

Oh I could have melted into a puddle of embarrassment then and there. I put my laundry into the machines, studiously ignoring all passersby, and completely avoiding all eye contact with the accusing pile of laundry, as if to say, “Psh, lazy people and their brightly colored panties! I am so much better than them and I ALWAYS remember to take ALL of my clothes out of the dryer when I leave. I would NEVER be so much of a worthless cad as to leave ALL of my clothing in the laundry room for days.”

Finally, when the coast was clear, I moved casually over to the pile, whistling nonchalantly, and in the blink of an eye, shoved the clothes into my basket and sprinted across the parking lot as quickly as physically possible. Seriously people, I set land-speed records.

And if later I hear people gossiping about those lousy tenants who suck at doing laundry? Oh I will tsk tsk with the best of them, my friend!


Why in the World Did We Get Married So Stinkin’ Young?: Part Two – The Marriage Manifesto

Filed under: Marriage,Seriously though — barefootnmarried @ 6:55 am

Yep that’s us! More to come in wedding posts!

I wrote last time that we faced some backlash for getting married so young. While we were making the decision, we wrote up a document that eventually became known as The Marriage Manifesto, that listed our reasons. While the title is somewhat joking, the content is not. Take a look, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.


This is a covenant we desire to enter into with the support of God, family, friends, and those close to us. It is important to us that we make this commitment in a community, and therefore wish to obtain the support of our community before engaging in this endeavor. We have been blessed with a number of examples of solid marriages. We hope to emulate their strong, stable marriages and intact, nurturing homes.

We believe that love is a choice, and that our actions are a manifestation of that love. We are called to treat each other with love and respect. Additionally, we don’t believe that love is an accident, and we have chosen to love and honor each other.

We believe that marriage is not necessarily about “soul mates”, per-say, but about a couple choosing to love, honor and respect each other, regardless of other circumstances. We believe that the God-designed institution of marriage transcends the brief flush of emotional intensity at the beginning of a relationship, instead enduring trials and providing loving practical and emotional support.

We make no pretense of entering this commitment with comprehensive knowledge of what the future may hold, but we firmly believe that God will equip us for what comes our way.

We acknowledge our age may seem to some an insurmountable obstacle. Statistics would seem to support that assumption. We, however, contend that marital successes and failures are likely due more to maturity, or lack thereof, rather than chronological age. Maturity is a nebulous quality that can be difficult to directly ascertain. Do we feel that we are all we can ever hope to be? Of course not. We accept that we don’t know everything that will happen. We accept that we have quite a bit of room to grow in maturity. However, we also accept that marriage will challenge us, stretch us and grow us.

We feel that we have attained the maturity necessary to commit to this sacred bond, strongly supported by having developed realistic expectations. We are ready to accept the responsibility of a lifelong commitment.

We believe that we are called to a godly marriage, and as Christians, we find it important to avoid dead-end relationships and pursue marriage intentionally. We have observed that it has become fairly commonplace to postpone marriage for a variety of reasons, from wanting to “experience life” to concerns about the high divorce rate. We believe that to view chronological age as an impediment to marriage would be a grave mistake. We also have worked hard to maintain standards of purity in our relationship, and recognize the further difficulties that would accompany a longer dating period. Additionally, we are not concerned about losing independence or freedom, but rather overjoyed at the prospect of gaining all that marriage has to offer. We believe in Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord”. We enter into this covenant with an emphasis on what we give to each other, rather than receive from the marriage.

We feel no need to delay marriage and its accompanying responsibilities in order to satisfy cultural norms of later marriage that our society has adopted in the last few decades.

We do have the option of delaying our marriage for a year or several. Admittedly, if we did so, our first years could potentially be easier, financially and in other respects. However, we feel that we are called to grow in Christ, which is certainly rarely easy, and we believe that in the example of Ephesians 5, we are called to emulate Christ in the selfless love that marriage demands. We wish not to become stagnant in a protracted, unnecessarily prolonged dating relationship, and in fact believe that waiting longer would cause far more harm than good.

We believe that dating should be conducted with a specific purpose and goal in mind, that of marriage. From the beginning of our relationship, we were open to marriage, and both believed in the importance of ending the relationship should either of us believe that marriage between us was impossible. We believed that we should only engage in a dating relationship if we viewed marriage as imminent. We believe that as Christians, if not called to celibacy like Paul, are called to marriage. We believe that marriage is more than a lifestyle option, but a calling for Christians. While we could have postponed this decision, we did not feel that it was appropriate to date for an extended period of time without marrying. While it may seem strange to discuss, we do believe that we were blessed with a God-given desire for intimacy that was designed to be fulfilled within marriage, and that it was our responsibility to pursue that commitment without engaging in unnecessary temptation. In I Corinthians 7:9, Paul confirms that “it is better to marry than burn with passion”, which we feel provides marriage as a natural solution to our God-given desires.

We believe that we date, not until we are sure we can have a perfectly perfect marriage with perfectly perfect people, but until we are sure that we can commit to loving each other sacrificially. We understand there is no way to know for sure everything about the other person, and dating is not necessarily an evaluative process in which we compare the other person to a mental checklist until we find they meet some arbitrary set of rules. Instead, we “walk by faith and not by sight”, and use the minds and hearts God gave us to evaluate ourselves and our relationship to determine if we can commit to that sacrificial love. One of us may have an extremely annoying toe-nail clipping habit, or it could be much more serious than that. Regardless, we are both committing to sacrificially loving each other, both sinners, with God’s help, despite any imperfections we may discover. We do not expect perfect godliness from each other, but rather, in determining our readiness for marriage, we desire a pursuit of godliness from each other. We date not to find someone who embodies perfection but who submits to God in their life.

This may not sound terribly romantic. There has been no mention of chemistry or compatibility. We believe those are rather nebulous concepts that don’t truly reflect what we have in mind. Yes, of course, in any romantic relationship, there needs to be a certain level of attraction, but we acknowledge that attraction ebbs and flows. We may feel more in love one day than another, but that feeling is not what will sustain our marriage. We firmly believe that it is the commitment and desire to honor God with our relationship that will sustain us.

We wish to forever share our life experiences, to support each other’s endeavors, to grow together in faith, maturity, and as a family.

We desire to honor God in our actions and intentions. We wish to follow Christ’s example of sacrificial love. We believe that the essence of marriage lies far beyond the human institution, instead filled with spiritual significance and constantly serving as a tangible reminder of God’s glory.

Therefore, we unequivocally declare our intention to pursue the God-ordained institution of marriage. We revere the sacredness of this covenant, and wish to fulfill God’s desire for us.

Serious hat tip to Boundless for encouraging us this way. Also, check back soon for our “How We Met” and our progression to the altar!


Why in the World Did We Get Married So Stinkin’ Young?

Filed under: Marriage — barefootnmarried @ 6:37 am

Well, that’s a pretty common question for us. I’m 21, and Mr. Barefoot is 20. (Whoah, younger men, I know, I’m a major cradle-robber. I’m actually 14 months older, so for two months each year, it’s like I’m two years older. Cougar right here!)

But in all seriousness, it’s no wonder we get asked that all the time. It’s highly unusual in today’s culture to get married when we did (19 and 20), even though 50 years ago it was pretty much expected. I’ll get into the reasons why I think that might be so in later posts, but an excellent resource is Regardless, it’s surprisingly a source of contention for people who don’t even know us (and plenty who do!). I worked as a bank teller while we were engaged, and people tend to watch you count their money pretty closely, so a shiny engagement ring will catch their attention.

You wouldn’t believe some of the comments I got.

  • “Make sure you stay married at least ten years. Then you can collect alimony.”
  • “Enjoy life! Don’t throw it away at twenty years old!”
  • “You can’t know what you’re doing. I had no idea what I was doing at twenty. I could barely tie my shoe!”

Meanwhile, I’d like to share something Mr. Barefoot (then-boyfriend) and I wrote up when we were considering marriage, but still trying to figure out the whole thing. We wrote this up to get all of our feelings out on paper about our decision, and I’ll be sharing it in the next post. Check back then!

But first, tell me! What anti-young-marriage advice have you heard? Good stories?


Rejecting Children

Filed under: Seriously though — barefootnmarried @ 5:53 am

That’s what I felt like I was doing today.

Photo Source

Mr. Barefoot and I are now official sponsors of a child through Compassion International. They are an amazing non-profit, and everyone I know who has had experience with them can’t say enough good about them. I’m so glad we finally took the leap and became sponsors.


You have to CHOOSE the specific child you want to sponsor. Really Compassion? You put all of these adorable, beautiful children in front of me, all of whom desperately need care, and I have to CHOOSE? Way to forever assault me with overwhelming abandonment guilt. As soon as I get ready to click on one picture, every face surrounding it fills me with guilt and I was overcome with the need to adopt every single one of them. We happen to be affected by this phenomenon called limited income, however, and had to call Mr. Barefoot over to make the decision.

Mr. Barefoot strode over in all of his confidence while scoffing at my decision-making ineptitude.

Until he sat down at the computer, that is. He was just as overtaken as I was. In all seriousness, the need is so great. Just looking at page after page of faces and stories breaks my heart. Compassion does such great things. Then as we were talking about our decision, we realized we were thinking of ourselves as far too important. (Sidenote: I do that a lot. All the time actually. And God constantly has to whack me over the head about it.)

God is going to accomplish great things with or without little old me. It is certainly to my benefit, however, to let him use me in whichever ways he chooses. And I couldn’t be more grateful. The way he chose to use me today was in sponsoring Shema David, from Rwanda. Shema has not been “chosen” in the more than 6 months he has been awaiting adoption, and we are so glad we could do something to help, regardless of how pitiful it feels compared to the thousands out there that need help.

We put our faith in God, though, and trust in his Word. So Shema, we are looking forward to sponsoring you.

P.S. Apparently there is a random button that doesn’t force you to choose. We only found it after we had already placed Shema in our online shopping cart (which, by the way, awkward much?), and if you think there was any way we were hitting that “Remove” button, you are out of your mind!
Do you sponsor a child ? Tell me about it!


Picking Sides June 15, 2010

Filed under: Newlyweds — barefootnmarried @ 8:45 pm

Photo Source

When we first got married, way back in ye’ old days of six months ago, we had to decide which side of the bed to sleep on. We both knew our parents had very specified sides of the bed, and it never changed, so we were well aware that

1) This was in fact a life-changing decision with far-reaching consequences destined to last us all the way to the nursing home with canes and walkers and those triangle bar thingies to help you get out of bed (which, don’t get me wrong, there are some mornings when I would really really really like to have one of those)

2) This was definitely one of those legitimate-married-people things that we’d always associated with grown-up mature types, and to be faced with the chance to have one of those was thrilling, to say the least.

3) Holy cow, we were going to be sleeping in the same bed! WEIRD

On our honeymoon, we decided to forgo the decision until we got home for the first time, so the side-choosing was haphazard at best. Then, our first night in our new apartment, there were big decisions to be made. I flopped down on the left, Mr. Barefoot on the right, and surveyed the view. We switched and evaluated. Quite honestly, we couldn’t tell the difference, but were nonetheless aware that this was an important decision that should not be taken lightly. In light of that view, I decided that the left side was going to be my side, and that was that. However, as soon as I made my decision, my choice was challenged, as Mr. Barefoot decided that since I found the left side so desirable, there must be something about it, and immediately declared the left side his. Naturally, the contrarian in me jumped forth with “Nuh-uh!! It was mine first!” A battle royale ensued, the only solution to which was determined by who crawled in bed first each night, the victor claiming his/her left side. Eventually, persistence won out. It was not unusual for me to be finishing brushing my teeth, only to find Mr. Barefoot permanently ensconcing himself in the spoils of his win, replete in his victory of the left side.

I’ve resigned myself to the right. We get along fairly well, and I do have better access to the closet. However, every now and then I gaze forlornly over at the left, taunting me with its view of the door and proximity to the bookshelf. And when Mr. Barefoot is gone, you better believe I’m over on that side, relishing my freedom!

How did you pick sides?


Beyond His Years June 14, 2010

Filed under: Conversations — barefootnmarried @ 7:06 pm

Mr. Barefoot: What is all that noise?

Me: It’s all of our neighbors – they like to play their music really loudly.

Mr. Barefoot: Darn college kids – ever since all the young people moved in, we can’t get any quiet around here.

My husband, an elderly grump at age 20!